My college, during Suicide Prevention Week, puts up thousands of pinwheels to represent the students everywhere who have died of depression. I didnt think much of them in years past, but now I do. They are on a hill where a friend of mine and I used to laugh and talk and wonder how plush they made the grass, what tattoos we wanted, and of our problems. Now that friend is part of that number represented in the pinwheels.
Please ask for help. It may seem weak to some but it is so strong to finally say that you cant do it on your own, and there are people to help you. It will get better. Speaking as some one who has battled this for a greater portion of her life, it will get better